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The life of Akamatsu Shin had been quiet lately, his days punctuated by the highs and lows of theatre work and his nights absorbed by his newfound joy of watercolor. Nobles were supposed to know 'the arts', but he had never learned painting as a boy. His parents had been on about politics and Shin's heart had been focused on acting. It wasn't proper for a family head to be learning frivolous things and when he had finally left, Shin had been too busy trying to carve himself a place in life to bother taking it up. Now that he had found his evenings void of life and color the dark actor had decided, finally, to see what it was like. He had not been disappointed.

And of course the source of that void was Akako. His love had blessed him with three weeks of heavenly bliss as requested and it had been the most intense relationship Shin had ever been in. Not because it had been a sexually charged one, although the tension had certainly been thick. It was the unquestionable devotion that had existed between them. Akako had been frequently unfaithful, but Shin had not, and they had spent their evenings together more often than seperately. But now Akako was gone, long returned to his relationship with Tokugawa, and that had left Shin with little more than his memory to keep him company in those evenings.

It was bittersweet to sit on the sofa and imagine his love's weight settled next to him, Akako's head rested on his shoulder while the other man drifted in and out of a doze; to lay stretched out in his luxurious bed and remember his lover's steady breathing in the middle of the night, one arm wrapped around his middle. It never stopped him from doing it, however. Shin sometimes considered this - melodramatically of course - like a period of mourning. One day he may get over the ache that was a constant seccond heartbeat next to his own, or he may not. For now, it was a twinge deep inside that would remain like the treasured memories forever caught inside his mind. It hurt, but he would never trade away his time with Akako if it meant lessening the pain. He simply couldn't.

He was sitting at his writing desk dwelling on a particular memory that had taken place in one of the back rooms of the Detlu theatre when Moriko came to him. "Akamatsu-sama," she greeted, bowing as politely as she ever did.

Shin forced his mind to focus on the present and banished the thoughts of Akako's pale skin; the feel of his silky hair between the taller actor's fingers- "What is it, Moriko?" he replied, inhaling and letting the incense burning nearby drown out the imagined scent of his one-time lover. Turning round to face his servant, he was surprised to find the older lady looking as harrassed as she did. Her brow was knit in a frown she was working hard to conceal and failing at, and her fingers were twitching.

"You have visitor," she said quietly, her tone neutral. "It is Amarante-san. He has brought a cart."

"A cart?"

Shin gathered up the rich blue folds of his kimono and stood, moving quickly into the hall and to the front door. He did not bother to gather his hair up and tie it back as he would have done if it were anyone else - Akako had seen him in far worse states than with his hair down, after all. Upon opening the door, he was greeted by the unlikely sight of his love standing beside a package-laden cart. He had his back to the door but Shin would have known that profile anywhere.

"... Amarante-san?" he called politely, ever aware of the cart driver nearby. He shivered, pulling his kimono more tightly about his neck to ward off the chill of late winter as the darker actor stepped outside. Thank the Gods there was no snow on the ground. "What is going on?"

Shin gathered Akako into his arms and held him fast, one hand gently stroking his love's gorgeous long hair to try and soothe the obvious anxiety out of him. A small concerned frown plucked his brow as Akako rambled on, punctuating every phrase with a hastily dropped sorry, when Shin was not even sure what there was for Akako to be sorry about.

He was sure that something serious had happened and that Akako was as cold as snow in his arms, shivering like a fragile little leaf. With no where else to go, naturally his love had come here. He refused to acknowledge the little bubble of happiness that thought produced. Now was hardly the time to feel good about himself when his love was so obviously catching cold and his whole house seemed to be packed up on Shin's front lawn. He made a lightning decision.

"Take it all inside," he told the cart driver, who gave Shin a look at being ordered to haul the vast amount of things into the home. He seemed about to protest, but Shin gave him his best I-am-a-noble-and-you-will-do-what-I-say stare down the nose, which quieted him instantly. Grumbling something, the man turned to start unloading Akako's things to bring inside.

Shin kissed Akako's forehead before he could stop himself. "Of course you can come inside," he told the other man, ushering Akako inside where the fireplace had warmed the rooms to a comfortable temperature. "Tell me what's happened - and don't apologize," he added, when his love opened his mouth. "There is nothing to apologize for."

Him? Shin almost said the word out loud, although he was smart enough to keep his thoughts to himself. There was really only one him that Akako could have been referring to - only one him that mattered. Tokugawa Minekura, previously Tokugawa Kyo. The last that Shin had heard of him had been that the man had started taking over several businesses around the city, garnering himself more fame than being an ex-Masagaoist and and arena swordsman had already provided. Akako had been glad to see him again after those three weeks and Shin had been extremely envious, although he felt bad to admit it.

And now Akako had left him? Why? What had happened? He had not seen much of the other actor since their departure of company and had not heard about their fighting. "I'm sorry to hear that," he attempted tentatively, not sure what was going on. How cut-up was Akako about it? Examining his face, the other actor seemed more angry than upset. But there had been that desperation in his eyes outside...

Shin walked over and sat himself gracefully down next to his friend and lover, taking a moment to arrange his kimono. "Are you alright?" He didn't dare ask what happened in case it opened fresh wounds.

The first thing that Shin's mind went to was their three weeks, horrified that Tokygawa had found out and that he, Shin, had compromised Akako's relationship. He had always been so careful, so very proper in public, so that their secret affair remained just that - a secret. But there had been those occasional looks, the increased friendliness... If someone had taken too much notice... Shin didn't want to imagine the kind of disaster that he could have unwittingly inflicted.

But the further that his love explained the more that Shin got the impression it hadn't been his fault and the fault of their three weeks. I wasn't happy. Those words said more than an explanation would have coupled with the distaste and anger that speaking about Tokugawa had let show. Akako wasn't upset - not in the traditional sense. He was angry, maybe at himself, but mostly at his former lover. Shin did note the implication and was elevated for it, the bubble of happiness in his chest expanding despite himself. It was vain and not proper at all of him to think, but there was a small glimmer of a thought somewhere that it was possible, maybe, that their three weeks had changed something in Akako. Shin didn't like that thought. He would never have wanted to break up a romance... but it was a nice thought nonetheless.

Shin went to place his hand over Akako's, a gesture he had become fond of during their three weeks. It was his way of saying I'm here, and I love you without vocalizing it. He caught himself however, changing the gesture by placing his palm on the floor and leaning on his arm and covering up what he was about to do. It wouldn't be right to jump on the opportunity when Akako was so fresh out of a hurtful break-up. "You can stay for however long you like," he told Akako, meaning it with more sincerity than he had meant anything before. He looked down into Akako's eyes, into his heart, and he smiled. "You will never be a burden here."

The touch of Akako's lips to his cheek was like the brush of a perfect frozen flower, cold and wonderful. The darker actor sighed in pleasure, something beneath his ribs eased by the faintest contact. After so long apart he couldn't hide the fact that even that brief show of affection was as welcome as it was. He didn't know how he was going to manage this, he thought suddenly. Living with the man you loved but holding back the desire to treat him like a lover - it had been hard at work, let alone in private.

Lifting his hand, Shin brushed a strand of hair from Akako's brow and turned his head to watch the other man. They were so close that their noses were almost touching. "I'm glad you came here..." he said honestly, leaning in ever so slightly until their lips were hovering so near to each other. How easily he could have kissed him right now, he thought. His nose was full of the vanilla scent that Akako used and his gaze was for nothing but the pair of dark eyes staring up at him, half-lidded and thoughtful. Suddenly, it hit him with startling impact that Tokugawa was no longer in the picture. He could kiss Akako and not worry about the problems attached with loving a man promised to another. Akako was untied and therefor free game, as far as kissing went. He shouldn't, but Shin had done a lot in his life that he technically shouldn't have done chasing after the dreams and wants of his heart. This would be no different.

Shin's hand cupped his love's cheek and he pressed his lips to Akako's in a sweet, longing kiss that instantly filled the holes in his life and brought back the color he had been missing. The taste of him was exactly how he remembered it to be, and Shin faught the urge to get lost in it. The kiss was not long, it couldn't be by necessity, and he eventually drew back with a regretful sigh and a gentle caress of his thumb across Akako's cheek. "This is going to kill me," he lamented halfheartedly, a tell-tale half smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Drawing back, Shin made to stand. "I will have a room done up for you immediately," he said, although his eyes said I wish I could sweep you away to my own when he looked down at the other man. "Is there anything else you will be needing?"

Shin returned the kiss instantly, as unable to help himself as he always ended up when presented with a willing Akako. I want to stay in your room the other actor had said, only to add a delicious with you on the end. Was that - did that mean...? It didn't take a genius to see the meaning in Akako's eyes. They had been together once, however short and bittersweet it had been, and they had been happy those three weeks. Shin had always cherished the idea of a romance with the other man, although he had kept that to himself more often than not. He would have taken it to his grave if not for the drunk afternoon in the forest with a bottle of sake and the script of the Golden Lotus. It was possible - more than possible, he thought rapidly - that they could be happy together again.

Shin wrapped his arms around his once lover and broke the kiss. "Akako," he whispered, using the name he afforded the other man only in private. "... Do you mean..." he paused, hesitating over the words themselves. He did not want to sound presumptuous. "Do you want to be in a relationship, or...? You have just come out of one - it would be unseemly for me to ask. Its just - with what you said..." He was flustered. Shin never let himself get flustered. He stopped to let his mind catch up with his tongue.